Congratulations to the Kansas City Royals!

Their improbable run to the World Series is one of the best postseason stories in baseball history. In just a few weeks, the Royals have transformed themselves from the pinnacle of baseball irrelevance to an unstoppable force.

Now, of course, they must be destroyed.

Baseball is no longer America’s pastime. Neither is football. No, no, America’s latest and greatest pastime is tearing down the very thing that has been placed on a pedestal not five whole minutes earlier.

“Look at that amazing thing! Let’s knock it down and watch it shatter!”

“Woooo! Yeah! It looks so much cooler all busted apart!”

We worship bands when they’re unknown acts, then destroy them for “selling out” when their songs make the radio and they win some awards. We root for underdog teams when they have little chance of winning — mostly so we can say, “I was all over these guys from the beginning, Man! — then we turn against them when luck swings in their favor.

The problem here is, the Royals are still really hard to dislike or root against, especially when they’ll be facing either the San Francisco Giants — who have won two of the last four World Series — or the universally-loathed St. Louis Cardinals.

The blowback is still going to come, though. And it will look something like this.

The Royals aren’t underdogs

Kansas City has somehow opened the postseason with eight consecutive wins. They are the only team in baseball history to do that. Throw in the end of September, and they’ve won 14 of their past 16 games. Doesn’t much sound like an underdog to me. In fact, in the sports world, when a team is unbeatable, they’re commonly referred to as a “favorite.” At least where I’m from.

They get every clutch hit. They make every catch. Their bullpen is a flame-throwing monster.

It will be a joy to see the Giants (or Cardinals) dial up the scrappiness and take them down.

Ned Yost is terrible

Ask any baseball expert you know: Ned Yost is roundly considered to be a moron.

Here’s ESPN’s Dave Schoenfield writing on Yost — in an article headlined “Ned Yost shows why he’s a terrible manager” — on the Royals-A’s wildcard game:

I’m all for thinking outside the box in the postseason, especially in a one-game situation like a wild-card game. But it’s another thing to think so far outside the box and pull off one of the worst managerial decisions in recent history.

And the Royals WON that game.

Up until the postseason, the Twitter hashtag #Yosted was reserved for documenting Yost’s (many) idiotic moves. While there’s a strong case to be made that Yost’s sudden success is hilarious because it makes the supposed experts look foolish, the guy truly makes a ton of questionably-to-openly stupid decisions. It’s just that everything has broken his way the past few weeks.

But Ned Yost winning a World Series title? No. It’s too terrible to imagine. The Royals might be a great story, but Ned Yost with a ring is a grave injustice for all the ringless good managers. We must not allow him to become the Yost with the most.

(Yes, the Royals winning a World Series would even be worse than that pun.)

The Royals are cocky

Here’s Jarrod Dyson in the wildcard game:

Here’s Jeremy Guthrie after Game 3 of the ALCS — before the Royals even won the series:

Here’s Billy Butler on his reaction to the Royals being unbeaten in the playoffs:

“I wouldn’t have called that. But it doesn’t shock me either.”

Here’s Yost on getting booed:

Sure, much of that seems fun, confident, and maybe even a tad funny. Because it’s the “lovable underdog” Royals doing it.

But imagine if the Cardinals, Yankees or Red Sox did all that stuff. KILL THE ARROGANT BASTARDS THEY’RE TERRIBLE I HATE THEM SO MUCH.

The Royals organization doesn’t deserve this

How does a team become an underdog? By losing for years and years and years, that’s how.

And how does a team lose for years and years? By making terrible decision after terrible decision and never spending the money necessary to win. As recently as 2011, Kansas City had a total team payroll barely above $30 million. The Yankees spend that much every year on A-Rod’s chauffeur.

So K.C. has one good year and now we’re supposed to celebrate them and root for them?

No thanks.

A Royals championship would just give cover to other cheapskate owners and incompetent management teams. “Just give us a few more years. Look at Dayton Moore and the Royals. Our $20,000 payroll is part of a GRAND PLAN you simply do not understand!”

Royals fans don’t deserve this

The Royals were 27th in attendance this year. Even the great Yost regularly ripped the locals for not supporting a team in a pennant race. Now the Royals make the playoffs and the stadium is packed every night. Interesting.

BANDWAGON FANS, I tell ya’!

Here’s a random Royals fan at the trade deadline when the team made no moves:

Here he is again after the Royals won the ALCS:

As one esteemed writer for The Cauldron recently noted, Royals fans are simply St. Louis Cardinals #BestFans who haven’t gotten national exposure yet:

Both franchises are from “wholesome” Middle America, where the good folks know the value of an honest day’s work and cheer on scrappy ballplayers who selflessly hit the ball the other way, just as Jesus intended America’s pastime to be played. Cardinals and Royals fans are the very same people, just born a few hundred miles apart. The only reason Cardinals fans are #BestFans and Royals fans are long-suffering, beloved “underdogs” is because the Cardinals have been consistently good while the Royals have sucked. It’s the only difference.

You don’t think Royals and their fans will be universally despised if they keep on winning for a few years, as they inevitably become self-important in the national spotlight? You diseased moron.

Don’t be a diseased moron. Root against the Royals.

Thanks for reading. I have to go take a shower now.

Go Royals!