The Los Angeles Lakers are not only likely to be a dumpster fire this season, but a hilarious one, at that. While head coach Byron Scott is busy touting an offense based solely on shots that top out at a two-point value, 40-year-old Steve Nash is apparently no longer able carry his bags through an airport without ending up in a full body cast.

According to an ESPN report, Nash and his troublesome back have fallen victim once again, this time to what I can only assume was an uncooperative Samsonite.

It’s fair to wonder now — if you hadn’t already pondered the ridiculous state of the two-time former MVP’s career — whether there’s even a point to Nash trying to play this season, or if the Lakers would be better served by putting their geriatric point guard in a bubble to protect him from further damage.

Meanwhile, Scott admitted that the team was still “gathering information about the nature of the injury,” which really ups the humor ante in this you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up story. Since Rust Cohle isn’t available, I took the liberty of considering four burning questions that the Lakers will need to find answers to:

• Did Scott stuff Nash’s luggage with sandbags? Do not underestimate the coach’s paranoia when it comes to players who love taking three-pointers, especially running three-pointers.
• Was there any tomfoolery involved? For example, did Nash suplex his luggage onto the baggage claim conveyer belt when he felt a twinge in his back?
• Was he hiding one of Kobe’s mistresses in his duffel? #SorryNotSorry
• Where was Jeremy Lin when this went down? Now that New York and Houston haven’t worked out, you just know he’s got something up his sleeve to cement his significance.

Seriously, though, you can always count on the Lakers to move the needle. Unfortunately, this one is going directly into the back of Steve Nash. Again.